Obituari untuk guru piano terbaik

Nothing hurts more than words left unspoken,

Gratitude left unexpressed,

And relationship left unmaintained. 

I still remember the music rooms in the notorious music school,

The old Petrof that I secretly loved so much,

Even the grand piano that I played on Wednesday nights,

Yes, the one that made my weak fingers hurt.

I still remember the way I annoyed you each time I came into class unprepared,

How I couldnt remember the notes,

And how you complained everytime I missed a beat.

But then again,

I wont forget that you stood by me for more than 5 years,

You kept up with my lousy fingerings and sight reading on weekly basis.

You put your faith in me,

And yet you still let me make a choice when I had to.

Thank you for the music,

Thank you for the patience,

And sorry for all the headache I've caused.

But above all, thank you for treating me like a family, like a daughter.

And I am really, really, sorry that I didnt maintain our relationship when I got back in town.

Rest in peace, Pak Sentosa Selamet.

You will be deeply missed, as you always have been.

Waktu Rehat

Ada waktunya kita harus berhenti sejenak, menghela nafas, dan rehat.

Ada waktunya kita harus berhenti mengejar, berhenti mencari,

Dan diam saja.

Hentikan semua pemikiran,

Hilangkan semua pengharapan,

Hapuskan semua kecemasan,

Dan rehat.

Mungkin memang ada waktunya bagi kita untuk diam, dan mencoba mendengar yang selama ini tak terdengar.

Mungkin Tuhan sedang mencoba membisikkan sesuatu:

Bahwa mungkin yang selama ini kita inginkan sudah ada di depan mata,

Bahwa mungkin selama ini kita salah menginginkan,

Bahkan bahwa mungkin memang sebenarnya kita sedang tak butuh apapun.

"Istirahatlah sejenak," mungkin itu yang sedang semesta katakan.

"Istirahatlah, dan biarkan yang akan datang untuk datang, biarkan yang akan pergi untuk pergi, biarkan yang akan tinggal untuk tinggal," lanjutnya.

Sudahlah, sepertinya memang ada waktu rehat untuk semua hal.

Untuk aku,

Untuk kamu,

Untuk jam pelajaran,

Untuk pertandingan,

Juga untuk semua pencarian.

Selamat istirahat sejenak, selamat liburan. Selamat natal dan selamat tahun baru! :-)

Fall in love, even for the hundredth time.

Fall in love, for all the good reasons, for all the impulsive ones, or for no reasons at all.

Fall in love, just to take a chance on new things.

Fall in love, because even when it doesn't work out, you'll still get something.

Because even when things don't go as you wish, you still get a chance to learn.

To realize what you're worth.

To see what you want in a companion, or at least what you don't want.

And to finally be able to understand what Madonna means by "don't go for second best, baby."

Because even if you end up with your unrequited feeling in the end, you know that it's not a total loss at all.

Because you might've found other kinds of love.

A love for a new set of people.

A love for a dream job.

A passion that you've never regarded as a real thing.

A new perspective to see the world.

Because if it's not for falling in love,

You might forget what it feels like to want something,

What it feels like to have butterflies in your tummy,

What it feels like to try,

What it feels like to be able to let go.

Because if it's not for falling in love,

You might forget to appreciate the happiness simple things can bring,

Like a short call just to make sure that you're safe and sound,

Like a good luck shout out when you're going crazy with approaching deadlines,

Like a simple 'good job' on your work.

Fall in love, even if it's for the hundredth time,

Or for the very first time.

Because who knows,

Maybe it's another life lesson to make you wiser.

Maybe it's just another journey you have to take

Or maybe, just maybe,

Somehow things will turn out great this time.

(Et pour toi, oui toi avec les lunettes très chic, je te remercie. À la prochaine!)

The Gratitude List

Back in March and April, I went through a stupid depression. Well you know, the feeling that nothing goes right, that you cant do anything at all to fix your gloomy mood, and the loneliness even though you do have friends around you. I was just back from an amazing semester and I came back to a boring one in Depok; the lessons in here were not interesting at all; I faced a rejection from a program; and above all, I felt that skipping a semester finally took its toll: I was no longer one of the top notch in class - I didn't even understand how to compose a research proposal while the other kids already did a complete research.

That was a bad time. I cried from time to time over small things, even things that didnt make sense like not being able to get a cake for a friend's birthday on time. I knew i needed help, but going to a shrink was not an option.

One day, I stumbled upon Diana Rikasari's blog and found her notes on listing the simple things to be grateful for as a reminder that there's always something to be thankful for. And so I made one myself.

And boy did it work.

I started my monthly gratitude list in April and I'm still making it until now. I list the small good things to the big ones on my agenda and by the end of the month, the blank page is full of happiness. Looking at the list of good things makes me realize that life isn't as bad as it seems; that there are still things to be grateful for, even in the worst times. And that, my friends, has successfully brought me out of the stupid depression. I am a much happier person, I can think clearer, and I'm back to living in the bright side.

Moreover, making the list also brings me hope of what I want to write on next month's list. Having hopes, targets, and dreams is exciting, and excitement is exactly what we (or at least, I) need to get by, day by day.

Make yourself one, and feel the difference it brings.

Laters, baby.

Another Buzzfeed's Genius Attempt to Decipher Life Phenomenon

"Elementary, my dear Frodo. Sometimes, something makes so much sense that you can't believe it hadn't happened before."

Yes, indeed.

Hold On To Sixteen

Hold on to sixteen,
Where dreams and hopes can go as high and as wild as you can imagine,
Where falling in love is not a calculated move but rather an inevitable act,
Where we laugh and giggle all day long,
Where making mistakes is inevitable yet forgettable and forgivable,
Where numbers cant define who you are or what you're gonna be,
Where sparks of life are everywhere,
Where we're so young we cant even imagine being old and lame.

Hold on to sixteen.
Remember how it feels to gossip in the school hallways with your best friends,
Remember how it feels to have a crush on someone who is out of your league,
Remember how it feels to go through puberty, or in some cases, your mum's second one,
Remember how it feels to survive all the mess,
Remember how courageous you once were to get whatever you want.
Remember how great you felt when you were sixteen.

Hold on to sixteen
We are so busy growing up and growing up,
We forget how it feels like  to be free
To worry about almost nothing,
To not take mundane things for granted,
To appreciate the simple joys in life.

Hold on to sixteen
Whether you're nineteen, twenty two, twenty six, or forty.
Hold on to sixteen for at least a moment.
We have all of our life to catch up.

Jakarta, 8.45 pm.
As stupid as it may sound, thank you, Glee.

Butterflies In Your Stomach And Uncontrollable Giggles.

Yesterday I went to see (another) Yovie Widianto's gig in Social Media Festival 2013. That was the third Yovie's gig I went to in the past two months. I'm a big fan, of course, but seeing three gigs in less than 6 weeks is quite a lot. I still love the lovey dovey songs, the amazing vocals, the show off session on the piano (jealousy overload, sir!), and other things from the performance. But yesterday, instead of singing along to the songs -which I shamelessly admit to know every word by heart, I wandered away with my thoughts.

Wouldn't it be great if those songs actually mean something?

Yes, at some point, I do miss falling in love; going gaga for a particular person, or at least just feeling the butterflies inside my tummy and not being able to control my giggles.

In the same evening, I told my buddy that I actually enjoy being single and my weekends do feel much more interesting than they had been when I was with someone. "Yeah, but at times we just cant help but missing having someone to share some moments, right?" he asked. And boy was he right.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy and content. Believe me, hearing that from someone who bitches at almost everything is something big. I finally understand the "I just don't want a bf/gf at the moment' cliche and I can laugh at miserable people moaning about being single and bored on Saturday nights (seriously, people, how can you? don't you have TV series to binge watch or friends to hang with?); but I cant stop myself from wanting the flowery experience all over again. I mean, being head over heels for someone -even your idol- is pretty awesome, right?

Maybe I (and some of you) should just wait for the magical moments to come and for the unreasonable good feelings to knock. And yes, I do know waiting sucks, but hey, maybe the waiting time will make everything worth it. Who knows?

In the mean time, lets just eat puddings and spend times with our loved ones.

Toodles xx

I went total jigglypuff on Oct 13, 2013! 

Refleksi Akhir Musim Panas

Seperti kebanyakan manusia, saya jatuh cinta pelan-pelan dan diam-diam, kemudian terlambat sadar kalau semua hal pasti berakhir. 

Dan mungkin, memang tak ada kata terlambat untuk menyadari apa yang kita inginkan dalam hidup, termasuk tentang pekerjaan, impian, ataupun lingkungan sosial.

Terima kasih untuk dua bulannya, Jakarta Globe ❤

Caffein-Induced Thoughts On Being Single

Yes, this is a post about being single. Yes, it might be the caffeine rush. And yes, I'm reading too much Thought Catalog again. Bear with it.

Months ago I had a conversation about the need to take spaces to think about what we really want in life, in a partner, and stuff. We agreed that taking spaces is needed, especially when we were just starting the twenty something experience; we need to figure things out. So i took mine.

I feel glad that I took the trip that let me reinvent myself, let me meet new people, taught me to step out of my comfort zone, and most of all, taught me that it's okay to be afraid, because changes are normally frightening.

It took me almost a year to find out what I want and finally do it. And friends who weren't afraid to speak up their mind and tell me that I do deserve better. And meeting new people. And an amount of school-related stress. And self-realization that some changes need to be done, unless I can handle not being content all the time.

And so here I am, single again, after years of being in a relationship. It is liberating. It's even better than when I finally ended the long distance relationship that wasnt going nowhere back in high school. Yes, initially it was weird, not having a constant someone anymore and having to face questions from family about that someone's whereabout.

But in the same time, it is amazing. I can list some fun things about being single, again: the anxiety of what's going to happen next; the relieved face of my friends when I told them the news (haha i do realize it, guys!); the excitement of being back in the game; the hilarious jokes thrown at single people; the social time that you have to hang with friends; and of course, the sense of independency that was once lost.

However, the most important thing is, for me, that being single again lets me appreciate what I have and who I am. I can be the kind of person I've always wanted to be (seriously, you'll winced if you realize what an unhealthy relationship can turn you into); and as I once told my friend, I realize that I dont need a boyfriend to make me feel good. People around me are already so great and caring. My support system works really well.

But just because things are pretty much going on well doesnt mean that it doesn't get lonely at times. It does. I often find myself longing for company to try some new food with, or partner to get scared the shit out together by watching a recently released horror movie. And not that I don't have friends, it's just.... sometimes it's not easy to find someone(s) that share the same weird taste as mine. It takes time and patience.

In the mean time, I am blessed with friends who are pretty much available any time I need them. Or even when they're not, there's always Line and group chats. And I do have things to do, like composing proper lines to put on my thesis outline, my internship, and scrolling Buzzfeed's pages.

For all I know, loneliness is not a good reason to rush into a relationship. It's not falling in love, it's falling in love with the idea of being in love.

And as much as I am a hopeless romantic, I still think that rebuilding trust in people and relationship takes time -let alone trusting new people (sorry, strangers!)-and no one knows how much time we need. Maybe it takes only a month, maybe three years, maybe five, or maybe we're already there. Who knows.

(PS. If you enjoy books - from poetic ones to The Hunger Games; understand classical music but still listen to Backstreet Boys and Blink 182; think that obsessing about Dexter is totally normal; can talk about a damn lot of topics -from current political affairs to BBC's Sherlock (!!!) ; would watch any kind of movies -from The Hobbit to Moulin Rouge; tolerates Rocky Horror -plus someone singing 'Sweet Transvestite' from time to time; and love cookies, call me. Seriously, we could be buddies. Oh, and I'll make you cookies. My cookies are pretty damn good.)

(PPS. To my support system, Kiks and Bils, I hereby say thank you, and I love you.)

Toodles!

Midsummer Nonsense

Jakarta. There’s something about mid summer. Maybe the free time it provides lets us to have more time to rethink about things that we never had time to think. Maybe the adventures it lets us to enjoy give a chance for us to make peace with whatever fight is happening inside our brain. Maybe it’s the sunshine – or in today’s case, the everlasting rain- gives a calming effect. There’s always something about mid summer.

One midsummer, I found myself wanting something more, something bigger than what i accustomed to.  One midsummer, I was on a flight, getting ready for an adventure to begin. Another midsummer, I met people who later become part of my support system.

This mid summer, I find myself enjoying what I’m doing and starting to think to change lanes. Also, this midsummer, I am blessed to know some new people that teach me so many things - from how to write real stuff to how important it is to stand for what you believe in.

There might be no blossoming flowers nor new stamps on my passport in this midsummer. There might be an unreciprocated feeling happening this midsummer. There might even be confusion about future plans. But things are as good as it might be. My midsummer has been as enlightening as always.

As the end of summer draws nearer (well, with the climate change, I don't know if we even still have seasons), I can only hope things will get even better, and the upcoming fall semester will bring good things, good changes and clearer pathways.

For now, I can only enjoy the sunshine and the rain (j’adore la pluie!!). I hope you too have a good midsummer!

Forever, you say?

Remember in middle school you had one friend or several friends and you were inseparable throughout the years? And then high school happened, you found some other friends to hang out with and inevitably left the ones you had before. And then college happened. And so on.

Yes, life goes on. Yes, people come and go but only the ones that really matter stay. I know that very well.

I was just looking at old pictures and stories, seeing faces that once were labelled "BFF" - Best Friend Forever. It's funny that the ones that the people you called BFF ended up to be the ones that you never really speak to again. It's funny that the used to be day-to-day catching up sessions are replaced by seeing each other's posts on social media. It's funny that we were so easy to call someone(s) BFF, and just in one or two years, we have no idea what's going on with each other's life.

What's with the term "forever"? How could we be so sure about the long-lasting aspect of a relationship? Was it just a hope? Was it a plan? Tsk.

But maybe then again life is just trying to show us which ones that we can be certain of.

Maybe the term "forever" is too romantic. Maybe the most important thing is to appreciate what we have now.

For now, I am lucky to have good people surrounding me and I'm deeply grateful for their presence. I'm having a good relationship with my family (thank god the puberty vs menopause time is finally over); my partner-in-crimes are the best that i can hope for; new found friends that are only a group chat away; nice people in my internship place; the crush -oops-; and so on.

I wont worry about what future has in store for my relationships and friendships. This time, maybe it's best to follow what someone once told me: good relationship doesn't just happen, you need to work on it; and never-never take things for granted. Then maybe, just maybe, forever can happen.

Toodles xx

Four Years Later

I was just browsing through this blog (that I havent touched since Jan), and I found a post from few years ago. The post was about my insecurities with the future: where to go, what to do, what i wanna be. That was back in senior year in highschool. As time went by, now, four years later, I'm in my senior year again, and here I am, contemplating about the same questions. Where do we go from here?

I thought that I got it all figured out when I chose which school to go (didnt we all?), but nope, I'm still trying to find my way. It's getting clearer. I mean, I know what I wanna be, but how? Trying to figure out what to do next is confusing. I mean, we're twenty somethings, arent we supposed to be good at making plans?

The end is near, with only one semester to go (or maybe two), seniors are now facing the same old question: where do you wanna go from here? 

Will we ever have the answer for this question? Will the plan work? What if it doesnt? 

Too many questions. Insecurities are not good, I told myself over and over again. A friend told me that worrying wont get you nowhere, the most important thing is to seize the moment with what you have now as tomorrow will come anyway. Or in Hagrid's words: " What's comin' will come, and we'll meet it when it does."

Maybe they're right. Maybe we (I) should chill and believe that everything will be alright. Even Sulley and Mike can end up as the best scarers in Monsters, Inc. even though they got expelled from the university. Yeah, maybe worrying really wont get you anywhere.

There's something wrong with hospitality here

( Ps. read Pangeran Siahaan's article on similar topic here )

There is something wrong with Indonesians working in hospitality area. Nope, I'm not talking about the bosses, but the workers who do direct contact with customers, like waiters and shop keepers. They are unbelievably judgmental towards local people.

I've heard stories about clubs in Bali that charge tickets only for locals while foreigners get free entry. Some clubs even set the "foreigner" bar higher: only white foreigners (or bule) count as "foreigner", so if you're Indian or Filipino, you're still not bule enough thus you have to pay entry levy. I've never been in a night club in Bali, so i don't have the first hand experience of that, but that was what my friend experienced when she (-not Indonesian  but not bule) went there. You can see similar stories on the link i put above.

Shopkeepers treat you differently in Indonesia, or at least Jakarta. Foreigners get better treatment as the shopkeepers will greet them with more warmth. Well, maybe in smaller cities, this is what locals feel about domestic tourists coming from Jakarta. I don't know, I've always been the tourist from Jakarta when I visit smaller cities.

What i know for sure is shopping centers, shops, and the shopkeepers are really judgmental about what you wear. Yeah, I know that what you wear represents who you are, but still, this is annoying, and disgusting at some level. You may not realize it, but it does happen. Lets say, in one mall near Sudirman, in the entrance door there are signs telling you that you cannot wear shorts or slippers. What, they think that people that wear shorts are not capable of being well-represented enough, or further, are not wealthy enough. Stereotyping at its finest. So what if i go around wearing my shorts and t-shirts? Shops in Singapore never rejected me just because i'm not wearing the so-called-proper outfit. It's a mall for heaven's sake, it's not a church or convention hall or state palace.

Same judgmental treatment will happen if you happen to come to shops (good ones, i mean) wearing something that doesn't say "i have money". Trust me. Come to one of the upscale shops wearing your usual-lazy-college-day t shirt  they will look at you from head to toe, trying to estimate your capability of spending money there. Number one tip: don't come inside those stores looking like a shit. Well, or do. And go buy something expensive. Rub the shit on those pretentious shopkeepers' faces. Have your own Pretty Woman moment.

An experiment that you can do on your own: go to the same store twice. first, wear your cozy homey t shirt  later, wear your good outfit; office attire will do great. See the difference.

I went to this store yesterday, i was wearing my formal attire (i just finished an interview), and i somehow realized that the staffs treated me better than the other time i went there wearing something cozy. Well, not that i'm complaining or anything since the staffs in that particular store was always nice, well at least they're not rude. (listen there, Debenhams. I love you.) (Tip number two: short skirt can do wonder. I wore the same blouse twice. First time with jeans, second time with skirt. When i wore skirt, i looked more professional or whatevs, but they took me more seriously when i'm asking question on stuffs. Looking more mature (therefore have money) maybe?) Well you know what i mean. Have you never had the moment where the shop keeper stared at you and looking at everywhere you went and anything you touched with that underestimating look? I have. And it sucked. Seriously, why? Is it only an Indonesian thing? I mean, the shop keepers are always nice in other countries (well, except on some little or shabby stores in Singapore .__.) Even the people in Louis Vuitton Champs Elysee were extremely nice and not judgmental when i came there wearing my usual school outfit, trust me, they weren't fancy at all (plus i didn't buy anything there, a normal high school kid cant afford an LV from her allowance, right?). Some people need to learn how to be not judgmental and to not underestimate any customer.

For me, the most effective way to handle the shopkeepers and waiters that underestimate and judge you is by being cocky. Be cocky, really cocky. Show off the coolest thing you have at the moment, talk big, and leave. If you're not buying anything (well, maybe because the price is so freaking expensive there -true story, damn you Indonesian high tax!), leave gracefully, preferably with a big bullshit, say, you wont buy the bag because you already saw it 4 months ago in Paris and buying last season's stuff is not your thing. It's called a white lie bullshit, honey, and we all need it sometimes.

Anyway, screw you people who judge customers only from appearance. One day I'll have my own Pretty Woman moment (sans Richard Gere). I'll come to a fancy store with judgmental shopkeepers, wearing shorts and plain white t shirt (Oh, it'll be from Armani), let them think that i cant buy anything, wait until they softly hushed me away, and buy the most expensive shit there. That is the dream, honey.

Okay, back to work, and torrenting Sandra Bullock + Richard Gere movies.

Toodles.

paris, 20eme arrondissement.

Par la fenêtre, il y a.. 
la Tour Eiffel au loin, entourée de vieux toits 
la Seine, qui coule quelque part. 

elle s'est eloignee, depuis longtemps
Elle est seule, loin de chez elle. 
C'est déjà le printemps maintenant 
et son temps est presque fini. 

Paris, oui ma cherie, c'est Paris. 
on dit que c'est la ville de l'amour. 
Ah, parlons de l'amour! 

Cette fillette sait, enfin, que l'amour n'est pas 
la chose la plus importante dans sa vie. 
Heureusement! 

Ah, quel histoire de l'amour, 
Son attente, sa peine, ses larmes, 
vague de bonheur et de incertainite. 
Si belle, si vaste, si immense, si terrible, si bizzare, 
en même temps. 

Passent les jours et les semaines passent 
ni le temps passe
ni l'amour reviennent

Sous le ciel bleu de Paris, 
sur les chemins plein de merde, 
entre les Louis Vittons et les magasins Chinoises
dit-elle, 

"Qu'est-ce qu'il peut faire avec l'amour? 
        J'ai un putain d'années! 
        me ne frego con amor! 
        Je suis plus puissante aujourd'hui. 
        E sono Contenta.
        Au moins, je les essaie>> 

elle ne vas pas demeurer comme ça. 
Les larmes coulent a son visage, comme toujours 
et aussi son cœur. 
Mais t'inquiétes pas, 
il ya un sourire en train de pousser sur ses lèvres. 

C'est la vie, ma cherie! 
Tu vas etre bien élevée comme ca. 
Tu auras mieux, beaucoup mieux, 
et quelques jours, ca sera bientôt, 
tu peux dire, de nouveau, 
la mia vita e bella, ah non! 
la mia vita e bellissima!

April 20, 2009. 

Sometimes you fall for the right person in the wrong time

You know that saying: "when it's right, it's right" ? Or Barney Stinson's line from one episode of How I Met Your Mother: “Sometimes you fall for someone you'd never expect, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?" Well, truth is, falling for someone is not always that simple.

If you're lucky, you'll fall for someone right in the right time, and things will go perfectly. You'll meet someone at some random place, and then you'll go on few dates before you'll both finally tell each other how much you enjoy the time you spent together. You'll go hand by hand strolling around the city. You'll have some disputes caused by simple things like whose turn it is to choose today's Ben&Jerry's flavor or which pizza place you will go this weekend. You'll share the same curiosity on things that other people won’t care, like whether Pokemon can reproduce or not. In short, you'll be in the kind of relationship that you can compare to Marshall-Lily's or even Monica-Chandler's.

But sometimes, you fall for the wrong person. Sometimes you meet someone who is incredibly hot or charming and you fall under his/her spell. You'd do anything to grab his/her attention. And if you're lucky enough to have his/her attention, you'll do anything to keep it that way. That other person might treat you like trash, yet you'd still be there, hopelessly clinging to that thing you believe as love. Then you'll eventually come to your senses and decide to leave the person. Or he/she might dump you first. You'll weep or curse, but in the end you'll manage because you know that's for the best. You'll move on and continue the search of your perfect match.

But what's worse than falling for the wrong person is falling for the right person in the wrong time. Maybe it's your last three weeks of your exchange program when you suddenly get closer to that guy you've never talked to much and you found out that you have many things in common, plus he's cute and he actually fits in your top 3 characteristics of people you find attractive. You might still be in a relationship that you're sure will go nowhere but you still have the decency not to cheat before its officially over. You also know that the odds are not in your favor because in 3 weeks you'll move to other city and he's going home. And your country is far away from his. And you're not rich enough to buy plane tickets to go there. You're not even sure if the feeling is mutual. Maybe he's nice to everybody, or is it just to you? But one thing, you sure know that your feeling is real. You might fall for him fast, but you fall deeply. You haven't had this kind of crush since years ago, with your high school sweetheart. And finally, you know it's right because...it's right. But you can’t do anything. You can only enjoy your last moments together, of enjoying Christmas lights, deciding which boulangerie has the best croissant, eating chocolate covered apple from the town Christmas market, singing childhood songs, and playing charades. And its finally time to say goodbye. He goes back to his country, you move to another city.

Jason Mraz says in his song, "Timing's everything". I tell you this, sometimes timing's a bitch. You finally find what you've been looking for, but you have to leave it all behind. You have little chance to pursue that happiness. And that hurts for sure.

So, if you're lucky enough to fall for the right person in the right time, i congratulate you and i hope you cherish it. But if you're in love with the right person but in the wrong time, all i have to say is: i feel you, bro. Here's some advice for you (and me, maybe): Seize the moments you have left. Make a choice. Make a move, if it's what you really want. Don't be too shy and calculating, as it is better to feel ashamed later rather than to constantly ask yourself what things will be if you had made the bold move for years and years. Don't over-think things, you might not have that much of time. Don't give up on what you want. Yes, timing sometimes sucks, but you can beat it. You can get what you want, only with extra extra effort. Even if you fail, at least you know you've tried. Because in the end, you know that you deserve to get what you want. You deserve to be happy.

hold on to your things

Hold on to your things as they are precious. Maybe you just havent realized it yet. or maybe you have, but you just take them for granted. 

Dont take things for granted. They might end up leaving you or taken away for you.

Just like this llama who took away my hat.

Bad llama.

Laters!

(Anyway, where can i get a llama in Indonesia?)
(I want a llama for my birthday!)
(My birthday is in 1 month and 8 days!)
(I'll be twenty two soon! 22! The sexiest age there is! Barney would love to bang me!)
(wtf, brain)
(go  back to work, del.)

The two sided words

I'm big on quotes. Later on, i came to realization that there are always opposite sides of those quotes. Always. you know that saying of "if you loved me, you wouldn't have let me go" and "if you love me, you'll let me go and be happy"? dammit. which one is the right one? it's like you can never get the answer of your question from those words. or maybe there are always two sides of every condition i don't know. it's like deciding whether to move on or not: whether you should let go of your loved one so they'll be happy, or you should chase what is 'rightfully' yours. confusing, right? or another case, whether you have to "wait for someone who love you for who you really are" or "do a diet and makeover and go get the guy". This is almost as confusing as choosing which shoes to buy when you only have the budget for one pair. (kidding. buy both. suffer until the end of the month. be poor and happy).

i wanted to write something else, not this, but then i forgot what i wanted to write initially.
problem with my goldfish memory.

toodles.