As time went by, as i grow up...

... I realized that not every dreams could come true.

As much as we want things, not all we want are tangible. either it's us, or the circumstances that don't let us. me? i have to let go some of my big dreams. maybe being nineteen gives me a new impression of life, reality and also acceptance of nonavailability. i have to say goodbye to that silly dream of having a cool American high school year, to the target of graduating from YPM (yes, as much as i hated it, i still want that diploma.), to the dream of Harvard Law School (or is it still possible?), to the dream of being skinny and tall (now!), to the dream of being a cool doctor like Meredith Grey, and many more.

but then again, you cant always have what you want.

i should be thankful, i got what i need. i got a great exchange year, ive fulfilled the passion of going to Paris and seeing Eiffel before my twenties (and by my effort!), ive gotten into University of Indonesia, majoring Communication (even though im not really sure what to do), my fam is in a good condition, i have good friends, i think people do like me, so, well, im happy.

But, still, a girl has her dreams. Lots of dreams. Graduating from college in less than 3 years, straight 4 GPAs, maybe a place in SMU next year?, be famous-really famous, get a show in Nat Geo or discovery, get slim and tall, and else and else.

Many things in mind. Yes, being nineteen, few months left before hitting twenty, i finally know what i want. now the thing is just how to make that happen. big job, adelia, big job. so world, here comes the not so little girl! :-)

A little blabbering on the so called soulmates

"No matter how much someone loves you, and how much you love someone, or even how you're meant for each other, if you don't work out on your relationship, it wont last long, or even if it does, it wont stay good, it wont go well."--- my fairy godmother, Oshin, like years ago.

So, what if soul mates don't really exist?

Now lets get started on some quotes. "The idea of we can only be complete if we're with the other half is actually pathetic." Yes, i couldn't agree more. What about people who choose celibacy, like Oprah in example? Yeah we all need company in life; family, friends, love mate, and else, but not only one single person. is it possible to have soul-mates? or even if you're already found your significant other, are you a hundred percent sure that he/she is your so-called soul mate? what if then it turns out that your spouse isn't your soulmate? what if, lets say, you thought you've found your soulmate, but then you were wrong, and you found another one, the real one? what if you're wrong all over again? until when will you keep on doing this hunt for a soulmate?

My favorite couple in (TV) world don't believe in soulmates. (And yeah, idk whether the word "couple" should go on with don't or doesn't.) I am talking about Chandler Bing and Monica Geller. "I don't believe in soulmates. we met each other, we liked each other, then we fell in love. but then again, we worked on this relationship. we managed. that's what makes us together until now." That clearly doesn't sound romantic, but i think Monica's got the point. (Anw, where's that cheesy side of me? Hello?) Love is just not sufficient. Soulmate inst as simple as finding someone, its more likely "working and staying with someone". that's my opinion. Not that ive already found one and getting ready to tie the knot (doh, ive just graduated from highschool like 2 weeks ago!). My mom always says that no relationship could survive only by having love. even in marriages, love will go away in like 15-20 years. after that, all you have are, respect, tolerance, friendship -a super special one, you can call it love, but by this term i dont mean the one that makes you blush or gives you butterflies. the kind of love that lies one step higher than the usual lovey dovey thingy, if you get what i mean.

as much as BJ Habibie loves his late wife, i bet they also had to work things out sometimes. they managed to get through all the obstacles and stayed together, and in the end it's fair to call them 'soulmates".

okay. revision. Soulmates exist. But a soulmates is earned, not only as simple as found. nothing comes for free.

i still believe that God has the right one for me, and i do believe that God gives good person a good spouse. I hope i'll get a good one. really good one. Amen.

Btw, i dont know what put me on writing this things. Too many episodes of Friends, i guess?