six months

What? its already December? Six months passed by sooooooo fast! Things are going well, sing scores are vary. School's nice, friends are great. ive finally found where my next path will be, in Communication or Business. yeah yeah yeah

OKAY. Gue baru baca postingan gue sebelumnya ttg insecure feelings gue ttg coming back home, but now i'm like having a great time and great things. And the best thing is, i dunno how but i think i've changed a lot, like whoa. who i am today is not Adelia last year. I mean, okay skip that crappy part about independence and bla bla, but well, i think that ive changed 180 degrees . more extrovert, cheerful, witty (wew) and else. and i like love love love it. Apakah ada yg berpikir kalo gue juga sangat berubah dan jadi pecicilan tingkat tinggi?

okay actually i dunno what to write now. bye

Time goes by...

...so slowly?
kadang kadang sih iya, especially when things dont go our way or when we're waiting for something. But most of the time, time goes by so damn fast for me. Mungkin waktu lagi dijalanin kerasa lambat, but then when i stop for a moment and look back, i'm always surprised how far i've gone and how fast time has passed me by. contohnya dulu waktu exchange year gue, kayaknya lamaaa banget nunggu hari berganti hari tapi sekarang saat gue udah balik lagi di jakarta, gue ngerasa wah, cepet banget setaun itu lewat, terlalu cepat malah.

konsekuensi kecepatan waktu ini (sok berat banget)adalah ke umur. oops i know its a sensitive problem lol. tapi ya, sekarang gue ngerasa, wow i am not young anymore. well, okay, eighteen is not that old, but when youre eighteen, your teenage years are over. people expect you to be mature (wth is maturity anyway?) and stop acting like a kid. okay gue ngga akan menjadikan postingan ini sebagai fate or age denial, tapi kalo mikirin umur dan waktu yg terus jalan, gue jadi agak terganggu aja. bukan karena sindrom wanita yang agak sensitif mengenai masalah umur, tapi lebih ke kebingungan dan sedikit penyesalan kenapa gue belom bisa berbuat banyak seperti orang-orang yang gue lihat di sekitar gue.

Coba liat Miley Cyrus atau Ashley Tisdale, umur segue dan udah terkenal ke seluruh dunia. Liat Kevin Aprilio: terkenal, jago banget main piano, dan sukses. Liat Sheila Marcia: artis, terkenal, hamil, penjara. oke ini gue salah contoh. tapi mereka punya sesuatu yang bisa bikin orang orang tertarik dengan kehidupan mereka dan mereka udah bisa dapatin apa yang mereka mau (their dreams, not only material thingies)

Sementara gue, 18 going on 19 (oh shit, 19 sounds soooo old!) masih kelas 3 SMA (fortunately bcos of great reason last year), still dont know what my life passion really is, masih terobsesi terkenal tapi ngga tau gimana, and well i dunno, tapi kalo ngebandingin sama orang lain, gue berasa.... kurang.

okay, gue ngga akan meneruskan postingan ini, bcos i know it'll be another naff post from me. anyway thanks for reading, happy lebaran, maaf lahir batin :)

je vous aime.
vous m'adorez, ne dites pas le contraire!
xoxoxo

Oshin wrote me this, she slways knows what is on my mind.

I can't see how the way that you leave me only makes us close
I must be out of touch.
I wont ask you to give up on the thing that seems to keep you gone,
but I COULD BE GONE too!

Feels a little sometimes you're not here when I'm writing
Feels a little awkward sometimes you wont talk but we're not fighting
You hold on to your secrets and I'm not privy to what is on my mind
and i cant help but feel tired, so tired, so tired.

Bongkar bongkar dan saya menemukan ini

So i found my old binder from my 10th grade (which was like hundreds years ago) and i found some poetry-thingies inside it. And since that I'm not in a mood to do anything useful, I'm just gonna post them here.

How can i stop spilling my heart for you
when your name flies in my thoughts
every time i try to get you out of my mind?

How can i just walk away and pretend that you're nothing to me
when you are the oxygen that i breathe in?

How can i easily say that i don't even remember how your voice sounds
when your voice, somehow, always fulfills
my hearing and my head?

So tell me, after all of this, how could I?
And of course, how could YOU?
You just walk. And go. And talk.

Don't you know that I wanna yell right on your ear:
Do you notice that I'm gone?
Do you notice that this isn't I should be?
Do you notice that it's you who broke me down like that?

But this has gone too far away.
Guess it's really time to sing Auld Lang Syne.
Satisfied, aren't you?

Dan oke, saya tau ini puisi fraktura hepatica (patah hati, literally) banget. Dan entah terdengar sangat emo-depressing. Sudahlah.

What future holds

So, they were right. Senior year is not that easy and this year you need to be much more mature and be able to choose your next path.

i hate choosing, why cant i have all that i want? but that's the point of growing up, isnt it? to be able to choose between life's choices. (and i hate growing up, i'd love to be forever 17, young, careless and lively)

Anyway, i'm not gonna whine again, i'm just gonna talk about choosing my next educational path. College.

People always say to follow my heart my passion, and dont take majors that i dont like or just bcos my parents want me to. But, hello? what about being realistic? Seenaknya mengikuti kata hati dan passion mungkin segombal bicara cinta-cintaan sinetron, cinta buta dan gapeduli hal lainnya, dalam kata lain tolol. emangnya bisa bertahan cuma dengan cinta? emangnya mau makan cinta doang pas gede ntar? Sama seperti passion. Mungkin memang ada orang-orang yang mengikuti passionnya dan sukses, dan tentu saja bisa makan dari penghasilannya tersebut. Tapi mayoritas orang mencoba realistis, dan kembali menjadi kapitalis yang hanya memikirkan bagaimana bisa hidup nyaman tanpa kekurangan.

Kalau mau ikutin apa yang sebenernya saya mau, saya bakal milih Jurnalistik atau sastra atau hukum internasional, atau yang paling aneh mungkin bakal jadi artis (obsesi terkenal). I love to write and tell stories, tapi saya bukan (belum) jadi seperti Sitta Karina ataupun Raditya Dika yang jago merangkai kata kata jadi suatu karya yang menarik dan berkesan.But one thing, i know that writing and telling stories are one of my passions. Yang lainnya adalah saya mau jadi orang yang bisa merubah hidup orang banyak, seperti presiden atau mungkin sekedar volunteer PBB. Yang jelas, saya ngga mau berakhir jadi mbak-mbak kantoran yang masuk pagi pulang sore dan kerja di depan komputer terus menerus. Saya mau punya karir yang seru.

Tapi punya karir yang seru ngga segampang itu, kan? Kembali lagi ke pertanyaan "Nanti mau makan apa kalo gede?" dan pernyataan yang selalu ada diberikan semua orangtua pada anaknya ttg memilih jurusan "Cari yang gampang buat nyari kerjanya.."

Menjadi idealis berarti ngga bisa realistis, itu kesimpulan saya sejauh ini.

Saya kenal beberapa orang yang rela melepaskan impiannya demi punya prospek kerja yang cerah. Teman saya, dia sebenarnya ingin mengambil teknik penerbangan, namun karena prospek kerja di indonesia di bidang tsb ngga cerah, dia lalu mengambil jurusan yang sama dengan ayahnya dulu.

Saya masih bingung dengan pilihan yang harus saya ambil sebentar lagi.

Happy fasting, cheerio!
bises,
adelia

Facebook status on July 1st 2009

“Adelia Putri misses that feeling of having a major crush.”

No, i dont mean that feeling of having someone as your bf or dating someone. Well, yes, but that's not what i mean. What i mean is that silly feeling when you have a crush on someone(s), how suddenly there are butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks are flushing. Yeah, being in the L thing.

I'm single now, like totally single, not dating, sms-ing, being close or whatever with any guy. And before you say anything, i tell you one thing, NO, I'm not complaining about being single nor i'm in an urgent need of a guy nor I basically need someone to fancy me. Nope. It's just i've never been really out of love, like totally empty, plain, even not having little fling or crush or lust with anybody for months. It's kinda weird, i mean i kinda miss that rush on my blood or that silly blush. I just miss that feeling. My life's kinda flat these days, because of this silly thingy? i dunno. But yeah, it's flat. No jolt, no rush, no flush or blush. Nothing's wrong, it's just flat. Well, boring.

And before you think that i'm a pschyco girl who loves being surrounded by admirers, nah you're wrong. I'm not goodlooking enough to be that kind of girl.

(And dont ask about that Paul guy i've been stalking on. That guy doesnt even know me. Do i intend to hop in front of him and introduce myself? No way. He knows that I'm that strange Asian who always gazes on him. How can i be creepier? But i miss seeing him around in school, stalking him made my schooldays more interesting. However, chances i'm never gonna see him anymore. I'm leaving Thonon next week.)

Rubbish, but yeah whatevs

1. how old are you?
eighteen

2. are you single?
well, obviously yes.

3. at what age do you think you'll get married?
26-28

4. do you think you'll marry the person you are with now?
who?

5. if not, who do you want to marry?
Adam Lambert,but wait he's gay. Okay make it Gaspard Ulliel, or Kevin Aprilio (?)

6. who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?
My girlfriends since primary school

7. do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
Beach wedding

8. where do you plan to go on honeymoon?
Paris, Rome, and Thonon (?)

9. how many guests do you think you'll invite?
More than a thousand. I'll be famous, right? lol

10. will that include your exes?
Yes, and let them see what they have lost, letting me go (okay i sound like a psycho)

11. how many layers of cake do you want?
five would be enough

12. when do you want to get married, morning or evening?
Morning, then afternoon party!

13. name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding.
Endless love, Better Together, I love you til the end

14. do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon&fork?knife?
Fine dining, of course!

15. champagne or red wine?
no alcohol, gaboleh sama mama

16. honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
days after the wedding..

17. money or household items?
MONEY

18. how many kids would you like to have?
two or three

19. will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?
yes

20. whose wedding plan would you like to know next?
Disty Grahisa, entah mengapa

Shia LaBeouf

nah, nothing's wrong with this bloke. he's hot yeah i know. but i was just wondering, where did he got his last name from? (from his dad, obviously) But La Beouf is a french word meaning the beef. Were his ancestors butchers? or They simply loved beef?

I know i should study now...

but instead of studying i choose to read MANY chicklits (when i say many, it really means a LOT). Ive read The Darren Shan saga (5-12), The Vampire Diaries (1-5), all Dan Brown's, Jinx, Jemima J, Mr.Maybe, Swapping Lives, and many else. Ive just finished Avalon High and The Boy Next Door and Size 12 is Not Fat. I should really stop this, i know. I read them all in English, and most of them are in British English. Good thing i could know some really-british-terms. Bad thing i speak less and less french i'm afraid i'm forgetting it now. But i cant stop, chicklits are addicting! (and pretty depressing if you're singe and seem to be having no luck in lovelife at the time being, like me) I wish i could be like Jemima Jones who lost 8 sizes, or Jean who has a gorgeous neighbor/boyfriend, or Melissa Fuller who has such an adorable and extremely rich fiance. Okay i know, i should stop. Stop it adelia!

And to complete this post, here is the top songs in my playlist

No Boundaries by Adam Lambert or Kris Allen. Both of them sing the song awesomely. And like all the winning songs, i love the lyrics.
Smilin' by Pascale Piccard. Youre definitely gonna love this one!
Sunday with a Flu by Yodelice. Good one, and laugh at the lyrics :p
Heartless by Kris Allen. He is a genius or what? Love his version! musta hear!
Wake Up by Sliimy. He's French Mika, and i'm just wondering whether he's gone worldwide or not. Really nice single, though.
Sempurna by Vierra. No need to ask, you all know i adore Kevin Aprilio's piano play.
Private Affairs by The Virgins
You are not Alone by Michael Sarver. not the Jacko version, but this one is really good.
You Found Me by Matt Giraud. Definitely much better that the original one.
Endless Love by Danny Gokey. jadi pengen kondangan.

Ps. I know most of it are American Idol thingies. Yeah, i'm still under that influence of American Idol. And yes i still adore Adam Lambert (and my highschool hotguy looks like him!), Kris Allen, and Danny Gokey. You cant blame me, those american idol versions sometimes are better than the original ones.

i was just wondering......

is it really wrong that i'm not like others?
is it really wrong...

that i dont have the perfect body image like most of my friends do?
that i think a pet owner who seriously loves his/her pet is kinda idiot?
that i believe in love at first sight?
that i still believe Paris is a city of love?
that i read lots of chick lits and crap novels?
that i've played piano since forever and still cant play any chopin?
that i think that you cant build a relationship and even more marriage just from the L word?
that i still think maybe i'll end up with my first kiddie love someday?
that i take almost an hour before leaving home to choose my outfits?
that i dont care about the side effects of technology, like the cancer from laptop's radiation?
that i dont give a shit about eating healthy and bio, and how some food will bring you cancer?
that i still want to live an american highschool year, eventhough it's just impossible?
that i think the hardest part of my exchange year was to get rid of my feeling about that guy?
that i ridiculously really really wanna be San Chai and find a Dao Mind Shi?
that i am honestly still not sure which major to take next year?
that i can feel blank, not feeling happy nor sad for like many times?
that i can eat much then feel guilty but cant find a way to vomit?
that now i think i cant differ whether a food is delicious or not, as long as it's salty i eat them?
that i secretly have a low self esteem?
that i can really have a bad mood all day just because someone telling me little things that i dont like?
that i seriously hate seniors telling you what to do?
that i still cant speak french clearly to my hostfam?
that i hate thinking about grammars while talking?
that after all these months in france i still often talk in english?
that i still dont like being in another family's home which doesnt feel like my own home where i can wake up at 2 am and go to toilet without having fear of waking others up or making the dog bark?
that i hate intense sunshine, and i hate when people tell me that i must like the sun strike?
that i dont even bother to try any ski activity even though maybe i'll never get another chance?
that i think i've improved my english here and i feel like i'm having an exchange year in english speaking country instead of french?
that i still cant be close to my hostfam?
that i hate afs weekends because i feel so left out when everybody seems to be goodfriends?
that i have to search for a good topic to talk about with my hostfam?
that i often think that people dont appreciate me?

is it really wrong that i'm tired of following advices and not being me?

dear my fellow exchange friends,..

Put a smile and be proud,
it was not easy but we've made it through.
Don't be sad because we know we'll be back one day.
Time passed by so fast,
but we all know that we've had heaps of great and wonderful times.

Believe me,
our adventure is not finished yet,
it has just started.


Gros Bisous
ps: See you in Jakarta!

4 juin 2009

remember the hot guy i've mentioned yesterday? today he was sitting infront of my table at canteen. oh my gosh i couldnt think, i was panicking he was just soooo gorgeous. seriously. eventhough he has a big tendency to be a gay. and i guess his gf (i hope she's not his gf! lol) knows that there'a a strange and weird indonesian girl who is crazy about this boy. yeah whatever.yeah, thats him on the pic. i know im such a pathetic stalker haha

anyway, i saw a pretty dress, peach with ruffles. so sweet. i hope my mum will let me use it to the prom bcos its kinda 'open' i mean it's a sleeveless dress. but soooo pretty. and i saw a nice pump heels too. i havent bought any. i'm still thinking. anyway i have silver heels at home, i dunno if it'll match the peach dress. if they match, maybe i'll buy that dress.

And i did my DELF test too. easy. i thought it'll be full of grammars bah. i'll take the level B1 and B2 when i come home.

thats all xoxoxoxo

a rubbish post about a hot guy

you know, sometimes there are some person that can make you smile just by seeing their faces. No, i'm not talking about when you're falling in love and have butterflies flying inside your stomach, i'm talking about goodlooking people. In my high school back home, there are some boys that i can put into this type, you know the oh-so-goodlooking-type. They were my seniors, named L (who made all the girls in choir stop singing on graduation day when he walked in front of us, seriously) and another is M and R. (PS If you're in my highschool, and you're a girl, you'll know who they are xoxo).

Nah, these few days, some of my friends ask me if all french boys are hot like Gaspard Ulliel. Well, no. But suddenly i realized that hey- eventhough not all of those boys are goodlooking, there are actually some boys who are seriously hot. like the one i draw (couldnt get his pic). I dont know what his name is nor his class (absolutely not in my class). He looks like Adam Lambert, just not as 'extreme' as Adam. He's so smoking fuming steaming hot. Okay, at first he had that gay impression, but he's not gay (my friend told me he has a gf for 3 years, umm i hope they already broke up HAHAHA just kidding, i just hope she was wrong lol :p). He always wears a beanie hat, and he has his own style that never changes each day. Jeans, T-shirt (once he put on a vest), Aviator sunglasses, Jeans, Black Converse, and LV Sling Bag (you know, the postman type)- and oh yeah Louis Vitton. Gosh he's hoooooooot. I didnt know if French people could be this goodlooking.

And i know, he doesnt even know that i'm exist. Or maybe he does, considering that i'm like a stalker, stalking him around haha. I know, i dont have any chance to be his date (or maybe there is? crossing fingers! haha) I guess i'm not falling in love to, it's just admiration because how many times i have to tell you that he's the hottest boy on earth? I was standing 1m away from this guy yesterday on the canteen queue, and was eyeing him from 11 am until 1pm *i'm sick!* And hope he didnt realize that there's a strange wicked girl stalking him around haha.

And before going home, i WILL jump infront of him, ask his name and tell mine, and walk away. I wish. haha maybe i'll just ask someone what his name is so that i wont be curious for the rest of my life.

I know this post is rubbish, i was supposed to write something about my fear of going home, but i ended up talking about hot guys.Oh no, i was supposed to study for my DELF test TOMORROW. merde. okay j'arrete. wish me luck for tomorrow, hope the jury will understand what i say and i wont be having problems with those feminin-masculin thingy and those grammars. amen.

xoxoxo
bisous

ps. J'ai faim, mais il n'ya rien chez moi. Etjavascript:void(0) je suis en train de perdre quelque kilos avant partir. Mais je meutre de faim.

bright sunshine and i'm all burned

iya ibu itu topless haha


i went to the 'beach' of Lac Leman on Wednesday. actually the beach is not a real beach. it's just the lakeside and there are some pools, nevertheless that's called a beach here. I finished school at 10, took the bus, and walked down to the lakeside. Then i arrived at the beach, paid the entrance fee, and walked around. it was my first time, so i was pretty much like a tourist. okay bref. than i swam for a moment, bought a super-expensive-panini (I should have brought my own sandwich!) bcos i was starving. then i sat on the ground. nope, i didn't want to have a suntan, I'm black enough you know. so i spent like one hour sitting doing nothing, seeing Switzerland afar, and then went home.

nah, the weird thing is i met my French teacher there. she was lying on the grass wearing swimming suit and eating apple. not that teachers are not allowed to swim, but it was just weird. i mean, you dont picture your teacher in a swimming suit and lying on the grass, do you? thank god it's france. i couldnt imagine seeing my indonesian teachers doing the same thing, it'd be awkward.

then when i was sitting back in the ground, i turned my head and see two nudists. two topless old ladies. i bet you've heard that French beaches are full of nudists. i didn't expect old ladies to be nudists (okay they still wore thongs), it was just weird seeing breasts being shown around. i told chantelle about these things and she said that she probably wont come to the beach, it's gross. but well there's a good thing, the pool guard was smokin' hot. yay. we'll go there next week maybe. anyway overall the beach was awesome, the scenery and ambiance you'll love it :)

okay that's all. now I'm sitting on the window, hoping for a wifi ( i take the neighbor's wifi connection lol), and actually skipping class. i don't have French class today, and i wag my physics class bcos there's a test (i can only come for 2 times per week, so i couldn't do much either. my schedule's a mess.) my next class is at 14h, still have plenty of time :)

bonne journee!

ps. untungnya sekolah disini gratis. jadi ga ada yang protes "udah disekolahin mahal-mahal juga!" haha