bonjour!

Salut, comment ca va?
Je vais bien, merci. Et toi?
Je suis fache et j'ai peur.
Tu es malade? T'as perdu quelque chose? Tu es fache avec qui? T'as peur de qui?
Ta gueule. Je suis fache parce que je t'aime.J'ai peur de t'aimer.

dont ask, i dont even know what i'm writing now

che casino!

i was going to post something on my blog when i realized that my folder containing all my writings are gone. DISPARU. ILANG. man! i have the 10 pages of my french year memoir and a story that i've been working on since 2008 (i had it like 50 pages) and theyre GONE now. and no, i dont have any backups. ARGH.

anw, i had Jacky Day today, it was a lot of fun! and i saw that hot guy, he wore an old lady dress and still put a hat and another Louis Vitton bag (i wonder how many LV bags he has, since he use them almost everyday to school) and then i saw him wearing a normal glasses, with rectangle lenses, that guy couldnt be any hotter trust me.

lots to tell, but i cant write right now, i'm too pissed off. seriously. I wrote my stories with all those details about UK and EU and else, and theyre gone. merde

see ya
xoxoxo
i hope i could find where my data has gone :(

4 juin 2009

remember the hot guy i've mentioned yesterday? today he was sitting infront of my table at canteen. oh my gosh i couldnt think, i was panicking he was just soooo gorgeous. seriously. eventhough he has a big tendency to be a gay. and i guess his gf (i hope she's not his gf! lol) knows that there'a a strange and weird indonesian girl who is crazy about this boy. yeah whatever.yeah, thats him on the pic. i know im such a pathetic stalker haha

anyway, i saw a pretty dress, peach with ruffles. so sweet. i hope my mum will let me use it to the prom bcos its kinda 'open' i mean it's a sleeveless dress. but soooo pretty. and i saw a nice pump heels too. i havent bought any. i'm still thinking. anyway i have silver heels at home, i dunno if it'll match the peach dress. if they match, maybe i'll buy that dress.

And i did my DELF test too. easy. i thought it'll be full of grammars bah. i'll take the level B1 and B2 when i come home.

thats all xoxoxoxo

a rubbish post about a hot guy

you know, sometimes there are some person that can make you smile just by seeing their faces. No, i'm not talking about when you're falling in love and have butterflies flying inside your stomach, i'm talking about goodlooking people. In my high school back home, there are some boys that i can put into this type, you know the oh-so-goodlooking-type. They were my seniors, named L (who made all the girls in choir stop singing on graduation day when he walked in front of us, seriously) and another is M and R. (PS If you're in my highschool, and you're a girl, you'll know who they are xoxo).

Nah, these few days, some of my friends ask me if all french boys are hot like Gaspard Ulliel. Well, no. But suddenly i realized that hey- eventhough not all of those boys are goodlooking, there are actually some boys who are seriously hot. like the one i draw (couldnt get his pic). I dont know what his name is nor his class (absolutely not in my class). He looks like Adam Lambert, just not as 'extreme' as Adam. He's so smoking fuming steaming hot. Okay, at first he had that gay impression, but he's not gay (my friend told me he has a gf for 3 years, umm i hope they already broke up HAHAHA just kidding, i just hope she was wrong lol :p). He always wears a beanie hat, and he has his own style that never changes each day. Jeans, T-shirt (once he put on a vest), Aviator sunglasses, Jeans, Black Converse, and LV Sling Bag (you know, the postman type)- and oh yeah Louis Vitton. Gosh he's hoooooooot. I didnt know if French people could be this goodlooking.

And i know, he doesnt even know that i'm exist. Or maybe he does, considering that i'm like a stalker, stalking him around haha. I know, i dont have any chance to be his date (or maybe there is? crossing fingers! haha) I guess i'm not falling in love to, it's just admiration because how many times i have to tell you that he's the hottest boy on earth? I was standing 1m away from this guy yesterday on the canteen queue, and was eyeing him from 11 am until 1pm *i'm sick!* And hope he didnt realize that there's a strange wicked girl stalking him around haha.

And before going home, i WILL jump infront of him, ask his name and tell mine, and walk away. I wish. haha maybe i'll just ask someone what his name is so that i wont be curious for the rest of my life.

I know this post is rubbish, i was supposed to write something about my fear of going home, but i ended up talking about hot guys.Oh no, i was supposed to study for my DELF test TOMORROW. merde. okay j'arrete. wish me luck for tomorrow, hope the jury will understand what i say and i wont be having problems with those feminin-masculin thingy and those grammars. amen.

xoxoxo
bisous

ps. J'ai faim, mais il n'ya rien chez moi. Etjavascript:void(0) je suis en train de perdre quelque kilos avant partir. Mais je meutre de faim.

Love you 'til the end :)

I just want to see you
When youre all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I cant escape
I love you till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You dont want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why dont you just take me
Where Ive never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you till the end

I just want to be there
When were caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
Im lost for words dont tell me
All I can say
I love you till the end

Anyway, i'm not in love right now, it's just that i watched PS I Love You few days ago, and I just love this song. Maybe it'll be my favorite song ever, and take the place of my all-time favorite (Autumn's Monologue). And why i put that Paris Je T'aime banner, i dont know. I love Paris, and I really wanna go back there before going home.

so i have these two blogs..

why did i make two blogs? it's just bcos i found out that Blogspot is more 'open' and people who dont have a blog still can leave a comment. But i cant just leave my Multiply one since i have many contacts and they seem to be a kind of family for me. So i decided to have two blogs. And now i realize that it's kinda difficult to maintain both of them. I love the layouts and features of Blogspot but I still prefer my Multiply, since there are always some people who give comments at anything i wrote. So finally i decided to split these two blogs, i will write my random thoughts and else in two languages (or maybe i should start to use french or italian as well? lol). I'll post my indonesian notes in Multiply, and also some post that i need to hear some comments or suggestion about it. And for this site, i'll write something random in english, or maybe french if possible (lol) well except for those memoirs thingy that i've been posting (will still be going on, i still have like 5 parts of it hehe) it'll be in indonesian.

So feel free to open the link on the down left tab, the one titled “Salve! Mi Chiamo Adelia!” that's my other blog :)

xoxoxo

kalau saya boleh merangkum perjalanan ini dalam sekian halaman... (part7)

Hari hari saya selanjutnya berjalan begitu saja. Saya mulai merasa nyaman dengan kehidupan yang saya jalani disini. Saya pindah jurusan di sekolah, dan bisa berkenalan dengan lebih banyak orang. Saya punya dua sahabat, Landon, yang berasal dari Amerika, dan Eliott dari Meksiko. Emosi saya masih seperti roller-coaster, naik turun. Saat mood saya sedang baik saya sangat senang. Saat liburan tiba dan saya pergi ke Paris dan bertemu keluarga saya serta menara Eiffel, saya sangat terhibur. Namun saat kembali ke Thonon, saya mulai sedih dan bosan kembali kecuali jika saya sedang melakukan sesuatu yang asyik bersama dua sahabat saya itu. Saya kembali melankolis jika teringat hubungan saya dengan pacar saya yang makin blur. Saya mudah marah-marah tidak jelas kalau keluarga saya bertanya macam-macam dan terlalu khawatir serta menasihati saya layaknya anak balita. Tidak ada patokan jelas mengapa saya bisa tersenyum seharian atau merengut seharian. Saya memang aneh. Namun saya memang sering seperti ini saat dulu di Jakarta. Paling tidak saya tahu, saya sudah merasa seperti berada di rumah sendiri. Hal yang cukup baik, bukan?

Febuari, bulan keenam saya, datang, dan entah mengapa saya merasa hidup saya mulai berbeda, menjadi lebih menyenangkan. Saya mulai dekat dengan teman-teman sekelas saya, bahkan partner saya di kelas eksperimen IPA, Rachel namanya, dengan senang hati “membawa” saya ke dalam lingkup pertemanannya. Menemukan teman-teman dekat baru cukup menghibur saya dari kehilangan Landon, sahabat terdekat saya saat itu, yang harus kembali ke negaranya. Saya dan Eliott lalu kedatangan seorang murid asing lainnya, Chantelle, dari Selandia Baru. Hari paling spesial di bulan Febuari pun datang. Tanggal sebelas, yang merupakan ulang tahun saya yang ke-delapan belas. Mengetahui saya tidak punya rencana apapun untuk merayakan hari jadi tersebut, teman-teman saya berinisiatif membuatkan sebuah pesta kecil-kecilan di Pegunungan Alpen. Wow! Perayaan tersebut membuat saya semakin dekat dengan mereka, dan untuk pertama kalinya saya merasa 'diinginkan' sebagai teman oleh penduduk asli, bukan hanya sebagai objek yang menarik karena berasal dari negara lain ataupun perasaan kasihan. Saya merasa diterima, perasaan yang sudah sekian lama saya rindukan.

Bulan Febuari saya berlanjut dengan liburan musim dingin di Grenoble. Saya tidak pergi dengan keluarga angkat saya, mereka semua sibuk bermain ski, sementara saya tidak tertarik sama sekali dengan olahraga salju tersebut. Saya berangkat ke Grenoble sendiri, mengunjungi Segolene, teman sekaligus koresponden saya di AFS yang tahun lalu tinggal di Makassar. Liburan lima hari saya sangat menyenangkan! Kota besar, pusat perbelanjaan, pemandangan indah, makanan enak, hidup bebas layaknya mahasiswa, dan bicara bahasa sendiri! Setelah liburan berakhir, saya harus kembali ke sekolah, namun kali ini saya sudah berubah, saya memutuskan untuk merasa bahagia dengan kehidupan saya. Febuari adalah awal dari perjalanan saya yang “baru”.

Sebuah pelajaran penting yang merubah pola pikir saya dalam memandang hidup sebenarnya hanyalah hal kecil yang semua orang sudah tahu, yaitu bersyukur. Selama ini saya hanya memandang hidup dari sisi negatif sehingga saya selalu dapat menemukan kekurangan dari semua hal. Padahal saya seharusnya sangat amat bersyukur dengan keadaan saya sekarang, karena saya begitu beruntung. Saya punya keluarga angkat tetap yang baik, walaupun kami tidak begitu dekat, namun tidak ada yang salah dengan mereka. Teman saya yang lain ada yang harus sampai 5 kali ganti keluarga, dan ada pula yang ibu angkatnya sangat menyebalkan layaknya ibu-ibu jahat yang diperankan Leily Sagita dalam sinetron tengah hari. Saya tinggal di Eropa dan bisa belajar bahasa asing selain bahasa Ingris, lagipula saya tidak kehilangan kesempatan belajar bahasa Inggris disini, teman-teman dekat saya, Chantelle dan Landon, mereka semua bicara bahasa Inggris. Teman-teman saya yang lain, mereka semua begitu baik pada saya, satu hal lagi yang harus saya syukuri. Tuhan sangat sayang saya, kenapa saya lupa hal itu?