People with quotes that dont make sense,....

Her SOUL? What are you, a death eater?

Ambitions, Ambitions.

Finding new ambitions, something to go for, is exciting.

(the quote doesn't match the list, but it makes the pic looks smarter)

They say that you have to write down what you want in life so you'll remember it better. They also say that telling people about your goals and ambition is necessary, so people will nag you along the way - to remind you what your goals are and whether you have achieved them.

This past few days i just found some new goals and it excites me a lot. I mean, finding new purposes in life is exhilarating, isn't it? Well, actually i just renew my 5 year plan into some more specific and well, tangible, goals. I had this dream of being someone like Giuliana Rancic, with the ultra cool job, inspiring life story, and well, Bill Rancic by her side. But then again, I should have a back up plan. I mean, what are the odds for me to get a job in E! channel as a presenter? I am still hoping for that tho, since i'm a believer of those positive thinking things. But yeah, i should have a back up plan, as great as the other one, but well, more tangible. 

So.. I just decided to try for Cornell or Sciences Po for grad school. I know I can (positive attitude ftw) and since I've declared it here, i will try hard to get it, and you guys can bother me along the way, and ask me whether I'm doing the right thing to get to that school. And please do.

In 2 or 3 years, please come to me, anyone, and ask me again whether I'm getting closer to that path. And even if you're nice enough to ask me that questions, like, once in several months, that would be even better. A constant reminder, no matter how annoying it is, is necessary. So, feel free to nag me. 

That's all for now. Well, for this post. I still have random things to post.

Bisous,

La fille avec bcp des ambitions.

"Why do you do this?"

" Well, I just want to prove that i am good enough for this.."

"Of course you're good enough!"

"And what's your ambition in here?"

"......" 

( A piece of conversation with Tommy Tjokro, May 2012. My favorite part.)

 everything is much more interesting when you're studying

That's my hand, painted with henna. the centerpiece and the Hindi letters were made by Syailendra, an Indian friend of mine. I hope that's really my name and doesn't mean donkey.

Those good old times on the internet

Remember when social media was your (well, mine, at least) safe place? A place where you could go blabbering around about stuff, where you could complain or comment about anything? A place where you didnt have to think about your image? Remember when you only had few friends on facebook and few followers in twitter? Yeah that was a good time.

If social media no longer can be a sanctuary and a safe place, where should we go? Should we go back to the diary era? Or should we stop giving a fuck about what people say about us based on what we post?

Time to think.
Toodles.

The Road (not so) Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference. 
 

-The Road Less Traveled, Robert Frost

What if the road less traveled stated by Robert Frost is actually not so less traveled? Back in 08, I was sure that the exchange year was a privilege that not many can get, or want to get (i mean, 17yo kid going abroad alone in an alien country without being able to utter even a single sentence?). Well, i guess things change when you (and other people) grow up. Now, having a second chance of being exchange student isnt as thrilling as it used to be (or it hasnt been, yet?).  Maybe it's not the time to have hey-lets-do-this-weird-shit-you-cant-do-back-home or the condition that requires you-gotta-do-this-otherwise-your-life-is-gonna-be-miserable stuff. Maybe it doesnt really make you feel special anymore, i mean i am in a place that have almost 500 exchange kids, so being one is like regular. Maybe it's because the stakes arent really that high now, the only thing that will mess you up is if you fail your class, if you mess up with your relationship here, you probably wont have a bad time or a messed up living and social experience. Maybe it's because i feel like i belong here (this fast?), with the kiasu-atmosphere and else. Yeah, maybe the last one. I dont even have to try that hard to feel at ease. Yeah, getting *good* friends still requires effort, but i can have fun easily, simply by reading stuff or wandering alone in the city (uh, same story.). Anyway, August in Singapore has been fun. And I'm finally content with my college life, so things are good.

Catch ya later with some other stories.

Everything comes for a reason, they said.

Back in 08-09 (YES I CANT STOP COMPARING THAT YR TO ANY EVENT IN MY CURRENT LIFE), I had an exchange year. I didn't know what exactly I was looking for. Well, I knew that I didn't wanna be like others (meaning I wanted to be/have something special compared to other kids- so I took "the road less traveled"). I knew that France had always been a big dream of mine, so it was kinda dream-fulfilling thing to do. I knew that I wanted to speak other languages. I knew those things back then, but those things were actually the small things, not the ultimate goals. So yeah, I actually didn't know the big reason why i took that road (well, being accepted was god's big plan and blessing, but applying for it was a crazy? random? or just typical? move). But then again, after a year of ups and downs and also questioning what-the-hell-im-doing-here, i found so many things that I didn't even know I needed, answers to questions I never knew I wondered about. And It was great. A true meaning of life changing. (I'm gonna stop here. Check out my old multiply blog if you wanna know my old exchange stories, even though Idk why you would.)

Another round, another quest:Singapore, 2012.

Got another chance to go on exchange program. Singapore it is, only 1hr flight from jakarta. A typical indonesians' getaway. I thank god for the chance, yet I'm struggling with the same old question: what am I trying to find here?

- a payback, since I was rejected by NTU and SMU back in 2010?
- a semester long break?
- a challenge that I cannot find in UI?
- a proof that I am good enough for this?
- another life changing experience? (Not really expecting it, I'm pretty satisfied w/ my french year as the life changing one. However, one cannot have many life changing events, rite? Otherwise it won't be as 'life changing' as it should be.)
- college life that I can finally fit in? (With the competitive atmosphere, opportunities, and working culture)
-  a humbling experience? (That's probably it. I need this one.)
- a chance to be a better version of me? (Being alone in random place does bring out the best qualities in you.)
- to be thankful? (4weeks and I'm already feeling grateful w/ life back in jakarta and in france-with the friends and places and ppl)
- another round of finding out what to do next and where to do it?

Well, everything has its own time to come. It's only been a month, and I'm sure I'm gonna figure those thing out in time. One thing for sure, exchange is always a festivity. No matter how near it is. And even when it doesn't involve cool traveling moments.

That One Thing You (well, I) Should've Known

After all these years, especially these past 4 years, the one thing that you should have known is everything will be right in the right time. Or in Hagrid's words: what will happen, happens. In Suta's words: everything will be perfect in God's time. Be patient. Breathe in, breathe out. Stop the envy, and chill. Everything's will eventually turn out great.